Everyone has heard the story (from friends, colleagues and family members) of the divorce from hell, a painter for years, the cost of countless thousands of dollars, and walks his way through frustrating the justice system. It costs people not only their marriage, but often their children, their savings and their emotional well-being, as well. Unfortunately, many people going through a divorce end up hating their lawyer, and more commonly, hating their spouse's lawyer. He did not need. You can get a divorce without letting lawyers ruin your life. Using the ten tips below will make a huge difference in the way your divorce progresses. It's hard to behave rationally as you navigate through this painful process, but most people find the strength to get a divorce without losing control of their emotions or finances.
You can control the process and guide the matter to a satisfactory solution, leaving your financial situation intact and allowing you to meet your needs today and tomorrow.
The reality is that lawyers are human beings and as human beings, some are terrible there, and some wonderful home. When you hire a lawyer terrible (one who creates conflict rather than resolve it, one who makes your divorce worse rather than better) everybody involved suffers. You suffer, your spouse suffers and your children suffer. Well, not everyone suffers. The lawyer does not like terrible, so it is important to do everything possible to avoid hiring a lawyer because he is the only sure way to keep divorce lawyers to destroy your life. Here's how:
1. Do not hire a bad lawyer. The lawyer you hire makes a big difference. Use common sense in the selection process. Keep in mind, ask questions, and not hire someone if you do not feel good about your interaction with him or her. Here are some things to think about a first meeting with a lawyer: 1) Does the lawyer have a direct phone number? One can assume that if you go through a secretary or paralegal to reach your lawyer, you will have more difficulties to reach it, 2) attention to a messy office, if the lawyer is disorganized you can assume that your case will be be disorganized.
If you see any documents other guests sitting in public view, you know that your documents will soon be sitting in public in the same manner, 3) Ensure that the lawyer has a written agreement that ensures the customer that you understand your fees, rights and obligations, 4) do not hire an amateur - someone who is a case of traffic tickets in the morning, a real estate closing in the afternoon and squeezes your case in some in the middle, divorce is complicated enough that you should hire someone who does all day, every day, to do, and, 5) not to hire a lawyer to take on more cases than s / he can handle, ask the lawyer what his workload is average. Handling more than 15 or 20 cases at a time, most lawyers to become overwhelmed and ineffective. To consider these issues when you meet with a lawyer for the first time will help you make the right choice.
2. Do not let a judge decide for you. The moment you (or your spouse) go to court and ask a judge to decide your divorce for you, give up almost all you can manage the process. If you want to keep your money, instead of being a lawyer, and if you want to keep control of your life, not to quarrel. Going to court as a last resort, if all else fails. Try negotiation, mediation, try, try to cooperate in the divorce, try settlement conferences but do not argue. You can win a test, but at what cost? You will be able to dance with your former spouse's marriage to your child? Probably not. Litigation is destructive, expensive and gut wrenching. Arguing only if you have no other choice. Litigation is, unfortunately, necessary in some cases. There will always be people who simply can not reach, no matter how you try. Book of proceedings of the situation more desperate.
3. Do not hire a collaborative divorce lawyer (and get your wife to do the same thing). Now you know he wants to stay out of court. Do you want your situation to be resolved in the most effective, efficient and successful as possible? Of course. That's the way collaborative divorce lawyers divorce cases. In a collaborative divorce, everyone involved (lawyers and clients) signs a written commitment to make your case out of court. This keeps everyone involved truly focused on reaching a mutually beneficial agreement, without threatening costly and destructive litigation.
4th Do not hire a mediator without getting legal advice first. Often, people think that hiring a mediator is a substitute for hiring a lawyer to try to resolve their divorce. The critical mistake these people make is this: mediators can not give legal advice. Their role is only to help people agree, the downside is that they can help you to accept something that you would not have accepted that if you had sought legal advice first. Timing is everything here: using a mediator can be effective in resolving a divorce, you should never, ever hire a mediator without first obtaining legal advice from a lawyer whose only role is to represent your interests. In fact, any good mediator insist that you go and get legal advice before any agreement is reached, anyway. If you choose to mediate your dispute, get legal advice before you begin mediation. It is more efficient and secure.
5th Do not sign a blank check. Signed an agreement with a lawyer that requires billing hours is like signing a blank check. Be careful. Let's face facts - hourly billing encourages what? Billing! Find a lawyer who can tell you that your case will cost. The only way to be sure that your attorney's fees is to get a firm commitment to a fixed fee. Short of a fixed fee, you need frequent updates on the costs you have incurred (if it were our money, we want every day, real-time updates via the Internet), and we want the power accept or reject any action that would result in our paying more money. It just does not make sense to give someone the economic incentive to make your life miserable by dragging things. Doctors are not billable hours - they charge you a fee to your office visit or your surgery. Lawyers want you to believe they can not predict your fee. If they will not tell you how much it costs not to buy.
6. There is a cost-benefit analysis. Get rid of, it's easy to get caught up emotions and makes all the decisions that the point of view. This may be a mistake, however, spend some 'time analyzing the logical, cost-benefit perspective can pay dividends. Keep an eye on the ball and stay focused to be ready for a divorce, so you can move forward in your life. It is not uncommon that a divorce, people do things like spend $ 500 to $ 100 microwave oven. Do not do it. If there is a clear connection, and your actions to achieve a final resolution of his case, so do not be such a measure.
7th Know your priorities. People often go through a divorce find that their priorities change throughout the process. Things they considered most important when they started the process is not necessarily the same thing is more important at the end. It is important that you review your priorities regularly, with your lawyer or on your own, so you are always aware of the things that matter most to you. Stay on top of your own priorities allows you to keep your lawyer informed and better use the divorce process to achieve the results that your care most passionately.
8. Remain flexible. One of the most common mistakes people make when starting a divorce, decide that you absolutely, positively must have A, B and C, and nothing else will. Remaining flexible divorce process, it is possible to analyze critically and impartially all the problems that arise. This is especially true for people who have reviewed their priorities throughout the process (see # 7). Knowing what you want, and their flexible approach to do this can often mean the difference between success and frustration.
9. They stay involved. When you hire your lawyer, not just the hand control of your life to him and walk away. Your divorce is critical to you, and is too important to be delegated away and ignored. Stay abreast of developments every day. Find a lawyer who wants you to be as complicated as you do. Two things to look for in a lawyer who wants to keep clients involved: same day delivery for all documents that come in or out of the lawyer's office (e-mail is an excellent choice for this) and 24 / 7 The Access to your file. Ideally, the file will be available on an extranet on your lawyer website. If you can access your credit card and bank statements online, your divorce file should be online at the website of your lawyer, too. Many lawyers use technology to make your life less stressful and more convenient to find one that uses the latest technology to help you stay involved.
Engaged customers are able to maintain control, reduce anxiety and make better decisions about their future, help them achieve positive outcomes in their divorce.
10th Do not educate. Knowledge can be your greatest allies. Search divorce laws of your state or by a local law library or the Internet. NC-divorce.com site is the most comprehensive divorce in North Carolina. The site contains a discussion forum with questions answered by lawyers, a child support calculator, the last case, the courts of North Carolina, numerous essays and information on all divorce issues, seminar videos, and more. Reading the information on this site will dramatically improve your productivity and efficiency in conjunction with your lawyer and negotiating with your spouse.
